we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there was a trapeze. enough said
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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