He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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