Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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