hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
