I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
