Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
