His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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