I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
