Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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