We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
