brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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