I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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