Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
