It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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