im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
