Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize