I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
