I'm lost and stupid without you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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