I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
