filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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