That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize