you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
