ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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