i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
