I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize