It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
