were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
