We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
