I wish I could punch you in the face.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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