; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
