Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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