fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
