My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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