dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
