my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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