I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
