it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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