Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
