she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
