So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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