Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
