He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize