Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
