She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
