I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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