Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
