whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
