The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
