I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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