Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
