Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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