I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
