so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
