guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
