even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
