grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
