we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize