Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
