I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize