I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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