it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
