there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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