He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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