she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
