she was so not down for the gang bang
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
