AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
