weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
