just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
