the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
