I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
