are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
