lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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