he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
