happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
