I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
