I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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