There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
