If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
