this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
