dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize